1. Never, ever deny your single bridesmaids a plus one. They may opt on their own accord not to bring anyone, but they are ponying up a lot of funds to make you happy, possibly traveling and most likely getting involved in all of your events (showers, bachelorettes, rehearsal dinners et al). They more than deserve a plus one, regardless of whether they are on the marriage track at this particular moment. You may need to not invite your father's accountant in order to make room, but I think we can all agree a woman in her late 20s or 30s shouldn't be asked to attend an event solo.
2. Do not choose a bridesmaid dress that is ugly. I understand that this is subjective, but do a little homework and don't choose unflattering shades or shapes. It's ultimately your decision but keep in mind a range of body typesyou may have a pretty pregnant girl in your wolf pack or someone who NEVER wears short dressesdon't torture your friends. We look beautiful when those around us look beautiful.
3. Do not pick a bridesmaids dress that could bankrupt people. So you love that designer gown but know that it will severely stress your ladies out, get creative and pick something else. If you have a slew of Rockefellers at your disposal, by all means, go big and go Oscar.
4. Realize that you and your bridesmaids are adults. And that being said means that as adults you really can't tell other people how to wear their hair. Especially when said 'do can cost upwards of $150. That also goes generally for make-up, tattoo cover-up, and other personal things. You asked your friends to be in your wedding because of who they are, not how they look, so don't be ridiculous or demanding.
5. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Give notice, give dates when you have them, provide directions, send links and phone numbers of where and when to purchase dresses. A bride is also a host and if she thinks these tasks are too muchhire a wedding planner and have her update your website.
6. Be cognizant of your bridesmaids' situations and try to maintain balance. If you're having a destination wedding, consider a more local bachelorette, and don't be adverse to making it a conversation. Also, bridal showers are like husbands, ideally one is enough. If you have multiples because you're very loved don't pressure your girls into attending them allbut an invite is always nice. And don't get angry if someone can't afford to partake in ALL of the activities. As long as they're there for the wedding, in the end that's what they signed up for.
7. Involve your mother and your future mother-in-law. Stop the eye rolling now. A wedding, unless you're eloping, is a family affair. Be gracious, try to include both sides of the family, and if you're super organized you can delegate responsibilities that are important, but maybe not infringing on important things like your aesthetic.
8. Include everyone or no one as your bridesmaids. I may get some push back on this, but if you have four best friends from college but only imagined yourself with three bridesmaids, try to reimagine. Who wants to go into the next phase of their life by hurting people's feelings and causing riffs in your social circle?
9. Don't bankrupt your family. If you have a $250K budget, have fun, get peonies off season, get the band and the DJ and the string quartet, but if you don't then be smart. Decide what's important to you. If you need a $7,000 dress, realize that you'll have to sacrifice elsewhere. In other words, realize this is a wedding for adults, and not your 6th birthday partywhen you were allowed to mope and be irrational.
10. Keep the reason for the season in mind, always. A weddings is a celebration of love, not a live Pinterest board. Have fun, try not to be a dictator and smileyou only do this once. Hopefully.
©Mark Romine Photography